It’s hard — very hard — when someone spreads malicious lies, half-truths or pure fabrications about you personally, your actions or even your motives.
Or they poke you just to get a reaction. There are people who instinctively know my secret combination that, when dialed, can unleash a hidden flamethrower within me.
But, does every situation really require you to respond?
According to this article written by H.B. Charles, and appearing at For The Church, we often don’t have to do anything because even though people are hearing a bunch of nonsense, few are really listening and even fewer believe the smears.
“Don’t try to put out every brush fire that sparks up. Some things will put themselves out if you just leave it alone,” Charles wrote.
“Of course, this is not always the course that should be taken. There are 2 Corinthians moments in ministry when you are compelled to defend your authenticity and credibility,” he added.
I believe there are similar moments in business and social situations, too.
“Wisdom is knowing when to speak and when to hold your peace, when to move and when to keep still,” Charles advises. “But these hills to die on are few and far between.”
What does the Bible say?
Colossians 4:6 encourages us to “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”
Proverbs 17:9 suggests “Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.”
Proverbs 26:26 notes “Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down.”
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger,” says Proverbs 15:1-2. The tongue of the wise adorns knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.”
We certainly don’t respond with gossip of our own — even to tell others why we unfriended or stop following someone on social media. Ephesians 4:29 says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
All that is so hard to do, but I have several vivid memories of solid Christian men simply holding their tongues and saying nothing during a verbal barrage when most people would have supported or overlooked a reaction. Perhaps that’s why their responses stand out in my memory.
